I couldn't recall exactly what year was that but I think it was in 1998 when I first heard her voice. Back then, I was one of those who were hooked on texting. It was very common (not sure now) for people to just ring somebody else's number and there you go, the start of a good chat. One night, I thought about chatting with people I didn't know. So I started dialing random numbers. If it rang, then the number was active. Few seconds after the ring, you'd receive an sms like - "Hi. Who u?" - and you'd reply "Hi. Can you be my textmate?" That's how the process was. Unlike the others, her number rang but I didn't receive any similar text. I waited for few minutes, still no reply.
The following day, about 6:00 in the morning, my phone rang. A call from unregistered number:
Caller: "Hello, good morning....."
Me: "Yes, good morning."
Caller: "I had a missed call from this number last night. Sorry I was already asleep. May I know who this is?"
Me: "Uhmm, I actually do not know you. I was just randomly dialing numbers last night. Can we be textmates?"
Caller: "Oh I see. Sure, no problem."
So that's how it started. We became textmates, exchanged thoughts or points of view on certain topics, and argued. We didn't have the same view about destiny...even until now. I don't believe in such a thing as I believe that everything is a product of choice. She, however, does.
The texting continued for some time. I was in Cebu and she was in Dagupan. It took months before we finally met in person. When I was assigned to an engagement in Manila, I excitedly asked her if she's ok to meet up. She answered to the affirmative. She would be watching a concert that time anyway.
And the moment came. We agreed to meet in SM Megamall. She would be waiting for me in a coffee shop. On the way to that coffee shop, I felt uneasy thinking of what would happen. And thus the meetup:
Me: "Hi. Donna?"
Donna: "Yes? Wilson?"
Me: "Yup, it's me. Hi, nice to finally meet you."
Donna: "Yah, hi. Nice to meet you too."
Me: "This is Arn, my officemate."
And my phone rang...... I was told I needed to go back to the office.
I felt embarrassed and sorry. I wasn't even able to sit down and had a chat with her. That was the quickest meetup I had.
Sometime in September 2015, a friend brought up the idea of me writing something about falling in love, about breaking the barrier between the lowly and the elite, and how a relationship coming from different stature in life can even last. He wanted to get my thoughts about breaking the Great Wall.
Let me share a story about two friends, who happened to fall for the same girl back in their college days. They didn't know they were wooing for the same girl not until one night when they were about to sleep and just talked about their love life. The first guy, who thought he was about to get the yes from the girl soon, was surprised upon knowing that his best friend was also pursuing the same girl. Both of them didn't realize that until that very moment. There was silence.....but they ended up laughing at each other. The first guy gave in for his friend.
Neither of the guys was actually qualified to be the boyfriend since the girl came from a pure Chinese descent. That meant she should fall for a man of the same descent. However, and just maybe, the girl thought it was already y2k, so why bother what the family would say.
It simply amazes me every time I learn that there are people who lose their confidence despite their being blessed with good looks, wit and not to mention wealth, when it comes to deciding on whether to pursue a partner or not. A number of reasons can be mentioned justifying why he or she is not worthy of such a person. Had I gotten those qualities, perhaps I am not what/where I am now. Lol.
Going back to this friend who was eyeing to court (at that time) a beautiful, witty and pretty well-off lady. To him, she was perfect! But why the hesitation at his end? His reasons? Blocked by destiny being not chinese; the feeling of being not enough for her; and because of the three walls to break: i) preference in guys; ii) financial gap; and iii) absence of chinese blood.
I don't buy those reasons. For one, we really cannot control how we feel. And for another, to pursue or not is always a choice. It's only a matter of knowing what your heart desires or what makes you happy. If I were in his shoes, I would at least try to pursue her rather than letting her go and lose her without doing something. It's always better to act and fail rather than failing without doing anything at all. That's just my two cents.
Breaking the wall should be a non-issue. Yes, the Great Wall may be a product of a family tradition or belief since time immemorial but to honor or respect it is another story. It is still a choice one has to make. So if you are at the "disadvantaged" side, just make it happen. Pursue that person behind that Great Wall. There is nothing to lose anyway. Just gains.
If you happen to read this, I know you'd say this post is late. But it's better late than never. :)
By the way, congratulations to you and Silent Secret!
